


Kavanagh's Lament

by meyari



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Dubious Consent, Multi, Pon Farr, Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-06
Updated: 2010-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-05 21:52:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meyari/pseuds/meyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For those who know nothing whatsoever about the brand new John!Farr 'verse, it's a group effort over on LJ (see the john_farr comm), where the SGA/SG1 'verse undergoes a sexual cycle rather like Ponn Farr on Star Trek.  In this chapter: Kavanagh and Zelenka are rotated back to Earth, giving Kavanagh excuses to be pissy about life, the universe and cycling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Oh God no," Zelenka groaned two minutes after they stepped through the gate back to Earth. "Not already!"

Peter eyed him, lips going thin at the signs already showing on Zelenka's face. Flushed cheeks, panting, the slightly wild look around his eyes that were magnified by Zelenka's glasses. Peter snorted, keeping his mouth firmly shut as anger and idiotic jealousy surged through him. He couldn't wait half an hour to hit his cycle? He would never understand them. It didn't matter how many of them tried to explain it to him; it made no sense whatsoever.

"What is it now?" Peter snapped at Zelenka.

"I must go," Zelenka growled, his fingers shaking slightly as they ran through his already messy hair. "Doctor, cycle, I will see you in a few days."

He stomped away, grumbling in Czech under his breath and violently swerving to avoid anyone on his path. Everyone he passed took one look and stepped out of his way. They all knew the signs of it. Peter wondered what it felt like as he went through his return checkup and paperwork. He'd never been able to imagine it, not really. The thought of all those hormones rampaging through his body brought confusion, not arousal. At least in Pegasus there were people who understood him, even if they were idiots for the most part.

"Last cycle?" the nurse asked in a bored voice as she tucked a graying strand of hair behind one ear.

"Read the damned paperwork," Peter snarled at her. "I don't cycle."

"Oh! Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry," she said, the wrinkles around her eyes deepening as she stared at him with fascinated pity.

"Why?" Peter asked, looking down his nose at her. "At least I get to have a life outside of the fucking bedroom. Are we done?"

"Yes we are," she said, giving him a hard look.

She watched him leave with suspicion in her eyes. Every time people found out they looked at him like he was lying. It was almost the most aggravating thing ever. As if he had any control over his genetics. They were all jealous of his ability to stay clear-headed, that was all. He passed Zelenka making out with some random marine in the hallway and rolled his eyes. Couldn't they at least make it to the room? It was only three feet away. Surely they could keep it together that long. No one else noticed them. They simply stepped around the couple and went about their business.

Over the course of the next week, Peter counted seventeen other cycling couples in public places inside and outside of the SGC. He really didn't know why they insisted that he return to earth like everyone else. He didn't cycle. He'd never cycled. He was never going to cycle. Peter did his job, glared when random plugs tried to touch him to see if he'd socket with them. He never did and they always looked so damned surprised that there was no reaction, not even a quiver. He visited his parents and groaned as Mom nattered on about how worried she was about him.

"It's not good to try and go without, dear," she said, studying him as if he was about to go insane.

"Mom, you know I don't need it," Peter said, not growling the way he wanted to. She was his mom after all. "I'm fine. How's Dad doing?"

"Oh, well enough," she said, looking away. "He doesn't cycle so much anymore so that's good. Did I tell you about Billy down the street? She's still single, after all these years. I really ought to invite her over for dinner while you're here. You never know. You just might not have met the right person."

"Mom!" Peter groaned, rolling his eyes.

She did invite Billy over and of course there was no reaction, not at all, even though Billy was right on the edge of her cycle. She went home disappointed and Peter shut himself up in his room after Dad went into his cycle and then went out to find someone to ride. The local Senior's club had apparently set up a meet-and-greet for elderly males to meet younger cycling females and males. Peter tried to read but he could hear his mother crying downstairs. Eventually he went down and held her while she cried.

"It's okay, Mom," Peter said, letting her cry on his shoulder. "He'll be back in a day or two. It's you he loves, not some random bike."

She snuffled and nodded, but didn't stop crying. Peter made a mental note to badger Carson about the genetic basis to cycling again. There had to be a way to help people stop this. The toll it took was too high. He didn't understand how the rest of the world could accept it so easily, could celebrate it, could think it was sexy. It was all rape under the guise of hormones.

Dad came back, bruised, shuffling, and exhausted the day before Peter had to go back to Atlantis. When Mom wasn't in the room he made weak jokes about the cute young thing he'd found at the meet-and-greet. Peter could see that his heart wasn't in it. Dad obviously missed his shared cycles with Mom, not that there was anything to do about it. Hormone replacement therapy hadn't helped Mom continue cycling. He was glad to leave and get back to work. At least in Atlantis they were all the same as Peter, other than McKay and Sheppard. They got so much more done without cycles.

"Did you have good visit?" Zelenka asked as they ringed up to the Daedalus.

"Yeah, sure," Peter said, eyeing the ring of hickies on Zelenka's neck. It looked to him like Zelenka had at least two cycles during their three-week visit to Earth. There were bright, fresh new hickies overlaying old, yellowed ones. "Great visit. What assignments do we have on board?"

He refused to discuss it. He refused to talk about cycling. He refused to participate in the normal post-Earth visit comparisons of the cycling sex and hookups. There was no point and he got enough crap for being the most brilliant person in Atlantis. He didn't need to give them non-cycling ammunition against him. Zelenka raised an eyebrow at his curtness but allowed the subject to be changed. They dropped off their bags and reported to duty. Peter breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, things were finally back to normal!


	2. Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are times when Radek wishes that he could reach back in time to kill the Go'uld that altered humanity. This doesn't turn out to be one of them, rather to his surprise. Instead he merely wished to destroy his beautiful Atlantis for her meddling.

Radek was infinitely grateful to be back on the Daedalus. As necessary to health as the trips back to Earth were, he far preferred the lack of cycles that went with being in space. It had been a good trip to Earth, with much accomplished despite the two cycles he went through while there. At least he had connected with a new compatible who was funny as well as sexy.

_"I am so bragging about this to the guys," Garrett mumbled happily into Radek's shoulder as they lay panting together._

"What?" Radek blinked at him, confused. "Why?"

"Do you have any idea how popular you are?" Garrett said, expression sliding from bliss to incredulous amusement. "Zelenka, you're one of the best riders the SGC has! Damn, I'm not going to walk for a week."

"Heh, much practice," Zelenka said, grinning and stroking the gap between Garrett's hipbone and belly button just right. "And pride in proper workmanship. Let us see if we can make it two weeks, shall we?"

Radek smiled, stowing his bag in his room before reporting to his ship duties. Yes, it had been a good trip overall. He headed to his post, which was of course in engineering. He truly wondered sometimes how the Daedalus had been cleared for construction with so many flaws in its design. Every trip back to Pegasus was filled with inconvenient repairs and modifications to the systems. He listened with half an ear to the chatter of the other engineers behind him as he worked. Much of it was the traditional comparisons of the cycles they'd experienced while on Earth, but almost half the gossip he overheard related to Rodney and John.

"Yeah, I heard that McKay went into cycle on Atlantis," one young engineer said, sounding troubled. "That's two people who have done it now."

"It's probably just because he hooked up with Sheppard," the marine who was helping said completely dismissively. "The guy's cycles are fucked. I was on the Daedalus when he went into cycle and nearly died. I'll bet it was a sympathy cycle, not the real thing."

"More important things to do than gossip about others," Radek snapped at them, making them both jump. "Are you done with that yet?"

"No sir," the engineer said, turning bright red.

"Less talk, more work!" Radek ordered, pushing his glasses up with one grimy finger.

They hurried back to work and the chatter ended until it was time to go to dinner. Radek thought about it while working though. It was not right that John had gone into cycle while in space. The light frequencies and gravity were incorrect to allow it, but given that he was pre-cycling when he boarded, perhaps that explained it. For him to cycle while on Atlantis, months later, was very peculiar indeed. Radek checked on it after lunch, rocking back on his heels to find that the gossip was indeed true. Rodney had cycled, much to everyone's surprise. He was fine, though Carson was unable to explain how it had happened.

"Hmm," Radek grunted, passing the data back to the nurse and leaving without further comment.

He continued to worry at the problem in the back of his mind during the trip home. There was no possibility of one person's cycle issues 'infecting' another person outside of STD's. Rodney was scrupulous about his personal health, so Radek was sure that the cause could not be that. It had to be something related to Atlantis or to the sun the planet orbited. A check with the Astronomy department showed that the sun had not experienced any unusual flares during the time in question. There were no gravitational anomalies to explain it either. Radek kept checking against possible causes, using the informal project as occupation for his mind during the boring work he had been given. He found no causes for the unexplained cycle, but then he was working with second and third-hand data.

"It's about time you got back," Rodney snapped at Radek when he reported to work the day after returning to Atlantis. "The Daedalus got in yesterday."

"At local time midnight," Radek snapped back at him, absurdly relieved to return to the verbal battles they always shared. "If you were not in bed, you should have been."

"I have more important things to do than sleep," Rodney said, turning up his nose at Radek. "Give me a hand on this. You're not totally hopeless like the rest of these idiots." It was as close to a welcome back that Radek would get, but he knew what it meant and how much Rodney meant it.

"I wonder sometimes why I bother to return," Radek huffed, giving Rodney an annoyed glance that they both knew really meant that he was glad to be back, too.

They worked out that problem, snarking, yelling and occasionally throwing things at the walls, and then went onto the next problem and then the next. In what felt like no time at all it was dinnertime and lunchtime had disappeared somewhere into non-Newtonian space. John came to collect Rodney and Radek went with them. The unexplained cycle wasn't mentioned, but Radek could see John's concern in the tightness around his eyes. He didn't bring it up. There would be time to talk to Rodney or Carson about it at some later time.

"What's for dinner?" Rodney asked, peering around Ronon's shoulders.

"That blue meat and refried yellow beans," Ronon rumbled. "And pudding."

"Ah good," Radek said, smiling as he took his tray of food. "I like those beans."

"Yuck," Rodney complained, making a face as he stole an extra pudding cup. "They're bad enough whole. It makes them worse to mash them."

Radek sought out Lorne, who was a favorite cycling partner back on Earth. Cadman was with him, as was Miko. They were all compatible with each other and none of them had issues with Radek's rapid cycling so he chatted with them about Garrett and the cycles they'd shared while he was on earth. Radek made a face as he tried the beans. They tasted off somehow.

"Do these taste strange to you?" Radek asked, trying another bite and only swallowing it with difficulty.

"No, taste like normal to me, Doc," Cadman said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"They are as they always are," Miko said in her gentle voice.

"Odd," Radek said shrugging it off. "Perhaps I am catching a cold."

He didn't think about it again until breakfast when his juice (orange so that he could tease Rodney about his allergy) tasted strange. In the afternoon he noticed that his back ached in a way that would have made him think of his cycle coming on. That night he saw that a pimple had formed on his nose during the day, which truly made him stop and stare. It couldn't be. This was Atlantis, not Earth. He kept watching his personal symptoms as the next six days progressed, certainty settling into his gut. By the seventh day he was convinced.

He was about to cycle.

By the time that his cycle settled into its obnoxiously short pattern of thirty-three days at the age of eighteen, Radek had already learned the warning signs of the impending cycles. He could practically chart which symptom would appear at which hour. It was the one convenient aspect of his rapid cycling. On the rare occasions where stress caused him to cycle early or late, his symptoms of PCS always warned him exactly when he should expect to go mad with lust. He had eighteen hours to determine why people had started cycling on Atlantis and then he would have to seek out Lorne, Cadman, Miko or one of the three marines he knew were compatible (or Rodney, though he preferred not to bother him as they already spent too much time together).

"I believe that we have a problem," Radek said once he'd located John and Rodney.

They were predictably together, though he doubted that either of them would have made the prediction. It was somewhat sad that they were so oblivious to how much they cared for each other. Radek rather hoped that with time they would overcome their respective issues enough to admit their caring to each other. He wasn't holding his breath. His bet in the pool had them figuring it out approximately six years from now.

"What?" Rodney asked, looking around as if expecting the room to explode.

"I am, I believe, about to cycle," Radek said, snorting as John immediately grabbed Rodney's hand protectively. "I will be speaking to my compatibles after I finish speaking to you, but something needs to be done rapidly, Rodney. I think that Atlantis is adjusting itself so that we will all begin to cycle as if we were on Earth."

"That's not possible," Rodney said, the words having so much doubt behind them as to make it a question, not a declaration.

"Well…it would explain…" John said, looking away from them both and hunching his shoulders.

"Yeah," Rodney agreed, blushing and biting his lip.

Radek sighed, shaking his head at them. It amazed him that two people who were native speakers of the language were worse at communicating in it than he was. He sat down and showed Rodney his research from the Daedalus, going over all the things that he'd ruled out as a cause to the unexpected cycling. Eventually Rodney stopped shying away from him and glared at him.

"Why were you checking this out?" Rodney demanded, very much like his normal obnoxious self.

"Because you are friend and superior and I am rapid cycler who does not wish to return to cycling if possible," Radek said. "Thirty-three days, Rodney. I cycle every thirty-three days for twenty-six hours on average. I do not wish to return to that if possible. Finding cause is very important. Now, I must go and verify with Carson that hormones are indeed rising. You must find cause in next seventeen hours. Will not be enough to stop the cycle most likely, but if I am cycling then all others must be cycling too. Will soon be a wave of cycling going on. You cannot be everywhere at once. Solve problem. You are greatest genius two galaxies. Prove it."

Rodney spluttered at Radek as he stood. John was trying not to snicker while looking almost sick to his stomach at the thought of Atlantis cycling with Rodney. It was their problem for now, so Radek went to Carson who confirmed that the hormones were nearing their peak after more tests than Radek had known were possible to inflict on one individual. Radek sighed, glaring at the computer while pressing the cotton pad against his arm. This was most inconvenient.

"I suppose you'll be making an appointment with Rodney then, lad," Carson said, tsking as he entered his comments into the computer.

"Certainly not," Radek said, glaring over his glasses at Carson. "Too much time with Rodney already. I do not wish to spend cycle time with him too. I know others here who I am compatible with. Is not a problem."

"Oh!" Carson said, a faint blush staining his cheeks as he winced. "All right. You'd best be going then. You look like you've got a little time yet."

"I estimate I have…about two hours," Radek said, frowning as he felt the need starting to pound in his blood. "Odd. Should have been about fifteen hours. I shall go, collect food, compatible. Do work with Rodney to discover source of these most inconvenient cycles, Carson."

"I will," Carson said, frowning at the screen. "This shouldn't be happening."

Radek left him and gathered the necessary supplies in his quarters. Then he called on Evan Lorne. Given the suddenness of this cycle, Radek couldn't help but think that it was going to be more violent than normal. That meant he would prefer Evan to Cadman and Cadman to Miko. Evan was finishing John's paperwork. He took one look at Radek and stood, carefully not touching.

"A cycle?" Evan asked, surprise and worry on his face.

"Yes," Radek said, swallowing hard at the way lust surged from the mere scent of Evan's office. "Soon. Very soon. Less than two hours now. Maybe less than one hour. Can you get away?"

"Sure," Evan said, nodding. "I'm just doing paperwork. I'll let Sheppard know and we can go. Can you make it to your quarters?"

"If we hurry," Radek said, wrapping his arms around his chest to keep from grabbing Evan and pushing him back on the desk right then. "Is stronger than normal."

Reality was fading at the edges by the time Evan shoved him into his quarters. Radek shuddered, carefully removing his glasses and putting them into the special armored case he'd gotten for them. It was very annoying replacing them when they were smashed during a cycle. It locked securely just as Evan ran a tentative finger down the back of Radek's neck.

Lust slammed into him. Radek whirled and tore Evan's shirt open, getting his hands onto Evan's skin. There was far too much clothing between them, which Evan managed to remove quite quickly. Radek was too focused on pushing Evan back to the bed and then down onto it to care if fabric got torn in the process. The first round was frantic, rubbing skin against skin, humping against Evan's leg and groaning at the little noises he made. Completion brought a brief respite of clarity, just long enough for Evan to get the lube that Radek had laid out and ensure that he was ready before the lust overwhelmed Radek again. It took three couplings before Radek calmed enough to be able to think. Evan laughed breathlessly once Radek rolled over and collapsed on his half of the too small bed.

"Thinking again?" Evan asked, pushing Radek's hair out of his eyes.

"Finally," Radek sighed, smiling at Evan. "Was quite abrupt, more powerful than normal. Not quite like that terrible world where everyone goes into cycle but similar."

"That's what I thought," Evan said, nodding thoughtfully. He kept touching Radek, trailing his finger along Radek's cheek, down his neck, across his arm. "You're normally not quite that urgent."

"Cycle too quickly for hormones to be so powerful," Radek shrugged, pulling Evan close again. "I am very glad you are here."

"Me too," Evan said, smiling before kissing Radek.

The cycle took slightly longer than normal to conclude, which Radek noted mentally before falling asleep with Evan wrapped around him like an oversized blanket. It was thirty hours, not his normal twenty-six. When they woke about twelve hours later, Radek felt all four of those extra hours. He had no idea how Rodney endured this for days on end, over and over and over. Evan helped him shower, escorted him to breakfast and then headed off to do his own thing again. It was one of the reasons why Radek preferred Evan as his compatible to the others that he knew. He was considerate in a way that went far beyond the minimum. Once Radek had eaten two breakfasts, he sought out Rodney in the labs.

"Have you solved yet?" Radek demanded, mentally sighing over the stack of power bar wrappers, empty coffee cups and disheveled shirt that Rodney wore.

"No, I haven't solved it yet!" Rodney snapped, shooting a glare at him. "Should you be out already?"

"Done," Radek said, studying Rodney's data. "Was rather like that world that makes people go into cycle, but not so severe. Lasted fifteen percent longer than normal and was about the same percentage more powerful."

"You can measure it?" Rodney drawled, reaching for a mug and grimacing that it was empty.

Radek got them both coffee, nodding as he looked over the radiation data that Rodney was studying. Rodney made a little whimper of happiness at the coffee, drinking it as though it had saved his life. He obviously hadn't slept the entire time that Radek had been cycling and recovering. He changed the scale of Rodney's chart so that they were looking at the data over the full duration of their stay on Atlantis

"Am very regular," Radek said. "Variations in my schedule are very rare. And I cycle quickly so is more data to compare. Look at this. Lights in Atlantis have changed spectrum since first arrival."

"Damn," Rodney said, setting his coffee aside. "You're right."

It wasn't just the spectrum of the lights that had changed. As Radek and Rodney worked on the environmental data, it became clear that the life support systems had been slowly adjusting to match Earth's conditions every since they arrived. The lights, the gravity, the humidity in the air, all of Atlantis' environmental systems were normalizing to match Earth, which meant that very soon everyone would be cycling as they had at home. Once they were sure of their data they had Carter call a meeting of all the department heads.

"You can't be serious," Carter said, face going pale once Radek and Rodney were done talking over each other to explain what they'd found.

"You must remember that Atlantis is space ship," Radek said, glancing at Rodney who was both too quiet and too angry. "Is very intelligent space ship and is able to sense the needs of those who inhabit it. Our best theory is that Atlantis sensed our need to cycle and has been adjusting the environment gradually to find the correct conditions for everyone on board. Must have been confused by the non-cycling among us. In approximately two months, all conditions will match Earth and everyone will cycle as they did there."

"This is a disaster," Carter said, rubbing her face. "How are we going to cope with this?"

She looked at Rodney who lifted his chin and glared at her. The unspoken word 'universal' floated in the air, which made Radek snort and slap his hand to the table. Everyone, including Rodney, started. They were idiots to be always turning to Rodney. There were better ways to handle it than that.

"Is very simple," Radek said, glaring at Carter. "We find those we match with and leave Rodney alone. Is very diverse group. I myself am very compatible with many. Major Lorne is also very compatible. If necessary, Doctor Beckett can administer his Universal treatment to volunteers who wish to undergo it. And Gate is always there. We can send those who cannot find a match here back to Earth where match can be found. It is no different from Earth. We take responsibility for ourselves and our cycles."

Carter challenged him on it, making him explain how it would work. Lorne looked rather embarrassed to have been singled out. Carson looked delighted at the opportunity to test out his therapy, though no one leaped up to volunteer for it. By the end of the meeting both John and Rodney had lost the hunted look that they had worn at the start of it. It would be uncomfortable for a time finding people's compatibles but not impossible. The hardest to match had already been matched. They caught Radek once the meeting ended.

"Um, thanks," Rodney said, uncharacteristically meek. "I appreciate that."

"Is no need for thanks," Radek said, smiling and nodding to Rodney and John. "Is how it should be handled. At least here we have the chance to do things right without interference."

"Still," John said, smiling that little smile that Radek saw so rarely, "thanks."

"You are welcome," Radek said, smirking. "Now you must declare your love for each other and we shall have grand wedding."

Rodney spluttered and started yelling while John went red, then white, and then red again. Radek laughed, fighting with Rodney as they returned to the labs. Gratitude was nice but Radek preferred Rodney as he normally was. The fighting was invigorating and the work went much better when Rodney was mad than when he was feeling other emotions. It wasn't until much later in the night that Rodney turned to him. It was after everyone else had left.

"You do have people to cycle with, right?" Rodney said, looking concerned. "I don't want you to be hurt."

"Oh yes," Radek said, nodding. "Major Lorne, your favorite Cadman, Miko, three marines who I see rather rarely, plus a couple of others. It is not a concern. Take care of your John. He needs you most."

"Isn't that the truth?" Rodney sighed, rolling his eyes before getting back to work.


	3. Stop!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teyla becomes convinced that the Tau'ri are insane as they all succumb to their genetic version of sex pollen around her.

"It is our hope to set up a long-term relationship with your people," Teyla said, smiling gently at the leader of the village who nodded and smiled back. "The quality of your tava root is excellent and we would be honored to share our medicines with you."

"That is as Captain Lorne said," Gara, the village leader, said, nodding sagely while eyeing Rodney's mutters over his PDA and Ronon's bored lean against a nearby stone pillar. "We are grateful for you coming personally to supervise the negotiations."

They talked about the potential trade agreement, circling discretely around the issue of whether or not the Tau'ri would offer sanctuary and military assistance in the case of a Wraith attack. It wasn't an issue to bring up directly, not when it was so important. Such relationships took time to develop. Teyla was grateful for Gara's discretion in not asking who the father of her unborn child was. The Tau'ri were so abrupt about questioning (and openly guessing) whom the father was when she had begun to show that it had become something of a sore subject for her. All Gara did was discretely glance at her stomach after they'd been talking for a while and raise an eyebrow at John. Teyla shook her head no and made a comment about Kanaan's favorite tava root recipe. That sufficed and there were no more questions, discrete or otherwise, about her pregnancy. They had just begun to approach the issue of transportation of the roots to Atlantis. The subject allowed Gara to question whether his people would be allowed on Atlantis, which implied many things about whether or not they'd be allowed there in an emergency. Just as he was addressing the issue of how big the boxes should be and how many people would be required to transport them there was a scream from the market where Major Lorne's team was gathering a sample of the roots for Doctor Parish to test in the labs.

"Sir! We have a problem!" Parrish gasped over the radio. His message ended in a groan that made Teyla straighten up in alarm.

"Parrish!" John snapped. "Parrish! What's going on? Come on, we need to find out what's going on." There was no reply, not so much as another groan, which had Teyla on alert, and Ronon's hand on his gun.

They ran to the market, Teyla in the rear because of her belly, and found Major Lorne and Doctor Parish locked together in what Teyla automatically assumed to be combat until she realized that their pants had fallen about their knees. She gasped, appalled that they would have the terrible taste to do this in public. John groaned, his chin slumping to his chest. The villagers were muttering in shock and disgust, mothers pulling their children away or covering their eyes so that they wouldn't see what was happening. Teyla winced. This was a disaster for the negotiations. It was hard enough convincing people to accept the Tau'ri given their terrible manners. For them to carry on in public in this fashion showed the true depths of their barbarity.

"Synced?" John asked Major Lorne's second in command.

"Yes sir," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "We tried to pry them apart but Major Lorne decked me and then Parrish went into sympathy with him and well…" He shrugged, nodding at the two of them.

"Right," John said, shaking his head in dismay. "Ronon, stun them. We'll have to get them back to Atlantis. I thought Lorne had another four days before his cycle hit."

"So did I," Rodney said, frowning as he checked his PDA. "He did. Radek must be right for once about everyone being unstable until Atlantis is done adjusting the conditions there. Lorne was pre-cycling when we left and it just hit."

Ronon raised an eyebrow and shrugged at John's nod of approval to stun them. He didn't manage to stop them from publicly reaching completion (unfortunately), but they collapsed immediately after that, preventing any further embarrassment to the team and Atlantis. As John pulled up their pants for them, Gara took her elbow, pulling her a little bit away. Rodney followed her, watching the others with concern over his shoulder.

"What was that?" Gara whispered, too shocked to be discrete.

"The Tau'ri have a…genetic condition," Teyla said, her cheeks flushing that she had to be the one to explain it. "They were altered in distant times to ah, periodically experience conditions rather like exposure to Lirelia pollen. They are apparently adjusting to conditions in our galaxy and are beginning to experience what they call Cycles."

"Is it contagious?" Gara asked, his eyes going wide at the mention of the notorious sex pollen. He edged away from Rodney who huffed, crossing his arms on his chest.

"You make it sound like a disease, Teyla," Rodney growled as his face went bright red. "It's not contagious, anymore than red hair or dark skin is. This is part of who we are and how our bodies work. People who don't cycle aren't affected by it when we cycle. There are people on our homeworld who don't cycle and they're just fine."

Teyla had the grace not to bring up her near-rape at Aidan's hands when he went into cycle on PX-9311. Non-Tau'ri may not go into these Cycles but they most certainly could be affected by them. Teyla knew that far too well. Gara however relaxed minutely. Lirelia pollen was very communicable and the only solution was to wash it off with vast quantities of water, rinsing not only the surface of the body but also the nose, mouth and ears. Teyla still had a hard time not believing that proper bathing would deal with the problems her friends experienced. It was too ingrained of a belief for it to fade easily.

"Guys, Ronan and I have to carry them back to the gate," John called to them as he hefted Parrish. "I'm not compatible with them and Ronon's not one of us so we're safe."

"And if they're cycling now, we're probably close," Lorne's second in command said uncomfortably. "We better head back too. I don't want to shock any more kids. I'm really sorry about that, sir!"

He looked a bit too agitated to Teyla, his cheeks flushed and his hands trembling slightly. Lorne groaned faintly over Ronon's shoulder, which should not be. He should not wake for at least an hour, unless the condition driving him was stronger than the stunner blast. It was a thought that made her heart skip a beat.

"Perhaps we should return another time," Teyla suggested rather too urgently to Gara.

"Yes, I think so," Gara said, blinking in horror at Lorne's continuing whimpers.

He followed them to the Gate, watching John, Rodney and the others as if he expected them to suddenly go mad as well. Teyla thought that he might be justified in that fear. She would never have expected such behavior from Major Lorne or Doctor Parrish even after John and Rodney had explained the Tau'ri's odd genetic affliction.

"We can predict our Cycles you know," Rodney finally said as they dialed for home. "It's no different than a woman's menstrual cycles. You know pretty much when it's going to happen unless something dramatic happens to you to throw you off of your normal schedule." His expression was so sour that it made Gara wince. Teyla bowed slightly to him in apology. "There's no danger of your people getting attacked. We're very careful about these things. That's why we insisted on doing this meeting today instead of next week the way you suggested. We thought that everyone would be safe today and couldn't be sure about later. Obviously we were wrong."

"My apologies," Gara said, bowing slightly. He looked annoyed at Rodney's attitude, which Teyla thought of as a perfectly normal thing after dealing with Rodney for so long.

"No, I'm sorry," Rodney said, looking sour. "This is really upsetting. We thought we had it under control and it turns out we were completely wrong. At least no one got hurt. We'll get this under control and contact you again in a few months. It should have been sorted out in around three months at the latest."

The gate formed and the others hurried through. Teyla paused for a moment to touch foreheads with Gara as was appropriate. He sighed and shook his head in disgust as Rodney passed through, leaving them alone.

"I shall ensure that your concerns are brought up to them," Teyla said, patting his shoulder. "They are a graceless people and do not understand proper diplomacy, my friend. They are learning but it is slow. Give me some time and hopefully the concerns of both of our people can be addressed."

"Thank you, Teyla," Gara said, bowing again.

He looked relieved as she went through the gate to Atlantis. The next few hours were excruciatingly embarrassing as John and Rodney explained at least five times too many what had happened in the market, with far too many explicit details about who had been doing what to whom. Elizabeth and Samantha did not seem able to accept that Major Lorne had in fact done such a thing. Teyla could understand that—she couldn't accept it either—but did they need to discuss it endlessly? Thankfully, Ronon looked as uncomfortable with the depth of coverage of the subject of discussion, which made her feel better. Some things were simply best left unsaid.

"We're going to need to keep everyone on Atlantis until this sorts itself out," Elizabeth sighed, rubbing her arms as if she was cold. She shivered, which Teyla found rather odd. It was somewhat warm in the conference room.

"No, we just keep those who haven't cycled on Atlantis," Rodney said, sounding tired and defeated. "Those who have should be all right. They're not likely to cycle again until after the environmental systems have stabilized at Earth normal."

"Good point," Samantha said, nodding. She swayed a little towards Elizabeth and then Rodney, perhaps concerned about them. "Um, well, I suppose that we'll just have to deal with things for the short term."

"Yes," Elizabeth said, reaching for her bottle of water. "Why don't we adjourn for now? There's nothing much that can be done but wait for the inevitable."

Her fingers brushed against Samantha's and they both reacted as if they had been hit by lightning. Teyla gasped as Elizabeth latched onto Samantha's wrist and wrenched her closer. Samantha groaned and grabbed Elizabeth's hair, crashing their lips together. They kissed so passionately that Teyla couldn't help but stare. She would never have expected this behavior from either of them. Ronon made a shocked noise in the back of his throat, pushing back from the table and standing. John breathed a sigh of relief, patting Rodney's thigh.

"Well, I suppose that solves that pairing problem," Rodney said, looking hugely relieved. "I'm glad that I don't have to deal with Sam anymore."

John and Rodney stood calmly, heading for the door with Carson and his second Jennifer. Teyla stared after them, then back at Elizabeth and Samantha. Samantha's hands were under Elizabeth's shirt, pushing it up so that she could fondle her breasts. Elizabeth's hands were busily working Samantha's pants open so that they could dive inside. Ronon shuddered and hurried out of the room, adjusting his pants. Teyla caught Rodney and John, gesturing back at the conference room table where Elizabeth was pushing Samantha back on the table so that she could pull Samantha's pants off.

"Should we not help them?" Teyla asked, certain that her friends would be horrified by what had happened when they returned to themselves. They were co-leaders of Atlantis. This was bound to affect their working relationship.

"What?" Rodney asked, surprised. "Teyla, they're fine. They'll take the edge off and then head to one of their bedrooms to cycle in private. It's not a big deal."

"But they are both female," Teyla said, surprised that she had to explain it. "And friends. And co-leaders. How will this affect their working relationship?"

"Shouldn't," John said, shrugging and taking Rodney's hand in a protective gesture that Teyla thought must be unconscious. John so rarely touched that he couldn't be aware of his protective touching of Rodney. "Doesn't break DADT and it's better that they're friends. It's harder afterwards when you're strangers."

"Awkward," Rodney said, nodding seriously. "Really awkward."

They left and Teyla followed them, unwilling to remain behind and watch her friends do that together. She wasn't sure what to make of John and Rodney's assertions that this was better than Elizabeth and Samantha finding a man to marry and mate with. She made sure that the Athosians on Atlantis were aware that such events would be occurring, eventually going to get lunch in the cafeteria. She needed to escape the endless questions that her people had for her. She had no answers for them and that felt like a failing on her part.

She passed three couples engaging in various degrees of sexual behavior in the hallways. The other Tau'ri glanced at them and then their eyes slid right by, as if such behavior was so normal as to be unnoticed. Teyla couldn't understand how anyone could overlook that sort of thing happening right in front of them but obviously the Tau'ri did so. The cook staff was short at least two people when she got to the cafeteria and she spotted several couples engaging in vigorous sex on tables in the corners of the room. Teyla contemplated eating on the balcony but found several more couples there and they were mostly unclothed.

"This is…nearly unbearable," Teyla said, her cheeks radiating once she located Ronon at a table near the door. Teyla deliberately sat next to him so that her back was against the wall as his was. She had no desire to leave herself open to some sort of attack.

"No kidding," Ronon growled, glaring so ferociously at one couple that they shifted and moved away. "They've all gone crazy. Keep looking for the pollen."

"You know there is no pollen in this case," Teyla said, shaking her head in dismay as three scientists suddenly grabbed each other and began stumbling towards the door while simultaneously attempting to strip each other.

"Yeah, doesn't stop me from looking," Ronon said, shrugging one shoulder.

As the three (distinctly whimpering) scientists left together, Doctor Kavanagh came in. He looked around with an expression that was somewhere between killing rage and nauseated disgust. He nodded to Teyla and Ronon, got his tray and came to sit with them despite the fact that Ronon put his gun on the table.

"I went into space to get away from this crap," Kavanagh said instead of greeting them. "I'm going to have to see if I can get transferred to the Daedalus or something. This is so aggravating."

"You do not enjoy these…experiences?" Teyla asked reluctantly.

"Certainly not," Kavanagh said, looking down his nose at her. "I don't cycle. I'm like you guys. All this idiotic sex is going on around me and I don't feel anything other than horrified. Well, unless I got to watch Weir and Carter. That's different."

"Oh," Ronon said, putting his gun away. "Yeah, that is different."

"We do not need to discuss that," Teyla said sharply enough that both Ronon and Kavanagh winced. "I am sorry but I do not wish to be party to any such discussions."

Ronon and Kavanagh exchanged glances that Teyla read as implicit promises to discuss in great detail the erotic value of such images but neither of them said anything. They ate for a little while, all three of them doing their best to ignore the behavior going on around them. Kavanagh paused while opening his pudding cup, looking at the kitchen thoughtfully.

"You know, after this I'm going to raid the kitchen," Kavanagh said, eating his pudding with such lack of attention that Teyla wondered if he enjoyed it at all. "Grab a bunch of food and take it back to my room."

"You that hungry?" Ronon asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What?" Kavanagh snapped at him, his eyes confused behind his glasses. "No, of course not! Everyone's going into cycle at once. There's not going to be anyone to cook for a few days, maybe a week. Everyone that's done cycling is going to go into sympathy cycles. There's not going to be any prepared food until the wave of cycling eases off. That's going to take a good week, maybe ten days."

Teyla exchanged a horrified glance with Ronon and quickly finished her meal. She disposed of her tray, attempting to ignore the couple that was noisily copulating by the dishwasher and then hurried to find Rodney and John. They were in the labs, both looking quite desperate. Radek was not there, though little Miko and Laura Cadman were there with them.

"No, absolutely not!" John snapped at Cadman. "I don't care how desperate the situation is, we don't need to declare an emergency."

"Sir, we're not going to have anyone to man the defenses soon," Laura said, looking frustrated. "Everyone is cycling at once."

"We're well aware of that, Lieutenant," Rodney said, sounded haunted. "Trust me, we're quite aware of it. Me especially. That doesn't change the fact that we can't do a hell of a lot about it."

"Perhaps my people can help," Teyla said, stepping forward. "Currently we are avoiding the hallways but if we can take over the patrols and manning the stations temporarily, that would assist, would it not?"

John and Rodney exchanged glances, both of them looking at her with complete gratitude. Laura looked like she wanted to hug Teyla, though she did not. Teyla was incredibly grateful for that, given the way the Tau'ri were behaving with touch at the moment. Miko gave her a tearful smile that made her light up like the sun.

"Teyla, that is the most helpful thing I've heard anyone say in weeks," John said, nodding approval. "All right, that will cover that. What are we missing?"

"Food," Teyla said. "If there is no one for the defenses then I guarantee that there will be no one to prepare food. If you can be spared, we can bring some of the best cooks from the mainland here to fill in until your people have…recovered their sense."

"Good, good," Rodney said, nodding urgently. "That's going to be very important."

Teyla helped them set up a schedule and list of duties that her people would be able to assist with. It took perhaps an hour, during which time Miko got progressively more tearful. It was quite obvious that the whole situation was stressful for her. As they finished their plans and John stood to go with Teyla to the jumper bay, Miko's hand brushed against Laura's thing and suddenly Miko was launching herself into Laura's lap, knocking her backwards and to the floor. Cadman squawked, tucking her head so that she wasn't knocked out. Rather than fighting Miko off (which Teyla thought was the correct action given the violence with which Miko was attacking Laura's clothing) she laughed and waved Rodney away.

"Got it," Laura said, moaning as Miko's mouth latched onto one of her nipples. "Go on, deal with stuff."

"I will never get used to this," Teyla said, standing and hurrying to the door with John and Rodney behind her.

"You'd better get used to it," Rodney said grimly. "Everyone's cycles have been reset by this mess. This is going to happen again in a few months and again and again and again."

"Yeah, we need to plan for it," John said with a tired sigh. "Unless Atlantis pulls something, we're going to be down for mass cycling every three months or so. Sitting ducks."

They went to the jumper bay, Rodney literally dodging everyone that they passed. He looked like a hunted man, which disturbed Teyla deeply. John looked like he was going to hurt everyone who came close to Rodney, which was nearly as bad. Teyla had just informed her people of what was happening, of the new duties that would be coming to them, when Rodney jumped and then groaned.

"I have to go," Rodney said, typing furiously on his PDA for a second, all the while with a sick expression on his face. "I'm needed in the infirmary. We've got a marine going into Cycle who doesn't have anyone who matches on Atlantis."

"No!" John squawked, catching Rodney's wrist.

"I have to," Rodney said so gently that it hurt. "He'll die."

"No," John whispered, his shoulders slumping.

Teyla couldn't see his expression but the set of her shoulders said enough that she didn't want to see it. Rodney's expression was bad enough. There was too much resignation in his eyes, too much sorrow in the tilt of his mouth, and far too much despair in the way his wrist rested slackly in John's hand. He wasn't fighting whatever it was that John objected so strongly to. He didn't think that he could.

"John."

The one word was all that it took. John let go, nodding to Rodney. By the time he turned back to Teyla, his face was that cold, hard mask that had frightened her so badly when the Wraith were on their way to Atlantis. His eyes reminded her of their battles against the Genii. Rodney sighed and ran from the jumper bay. Neither of them said goodbye. It wasn't until they were almost to Atlantis that John cleared his throat, glancing at Teyla from the corner of his eyes.

"He was going to go and cycle with the marine," John explained, his voice rough with suppressed emotions. "He was right to go."

"I will never understand your people," Teyla sighed, shaking her head at him. "You are mates. You should not be sharing yourselves with other people."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't work that way with us, with Rodney," John drawled. "He's a Uni, a Universal Receptor, Teyla. He can sync with anyone. The marine would have died without him."

"He should have been sent back to Earth," Teyla declared fiercely. "The bond you share with Rodney should not have been violated in this way."

John didn't reply. He shrugged, bringing the jumper in for a landing outside of the village. After that there was no time to argue about it. There was no time to think. They had to make four trips to bring all the food, supplies and people needed from the mainland. Kanaan was enormously helpful getting everyone organized, as was Holling. Her people took their posts willingly, if with some horror over the behavior of the Tau'ri. Teyla lost track of how many times she explained that this was not pollen and that it could not be cured with sufficient bathing. By midnight, half of the expedition was cycling, fortunately most of them in their quarters and not in the hallways. Holling took Ronon and they started a regular patrol to clear the Tau'ri cycling in the hallways out of public view. John objected to it, but when Teyla explained that she would not subject her people to such behavior he gave in.

Over the course of the next three weeks she only saw Rodney for perhaps three hours total. All of his time was given over to tending to those who had no match for their cycle. He grew progressively more tired and wan. John grew more and more violent, his temper becoming something that Teyla feared. Even Ronon was cautious about how he approached John, which Teyla felt said more about the situation than anything else. For Ronon to fear someone…

At the end of the third week, Teyla went to talk to Elizabeth and Samantha. They had ended their cycle within three days, though Samantha had quickly worked her way through all of the people that she was compatible with, aiding them. Elizabeth had taken another two cycles, but she was apparently not as compatible as most others. They were talking quite seriously when Teyla came in, neither of them aware of her at first.

"I don't know, Sam," Elizabeth said, looking concerned. "Are you sure you're doing this for the right reasons?"

"I'm sure," Samantha said, looking as determined as Teyla had ever seen her. "You know that I'm right. We need more Unis, Elizabeth. Without them Rodney's going to die and we're going to start loosing people. He's already burnt out once and he's on the verge of doing it again."

"I agree," Teyla said, tapping on the door and smiling at them as they nodded for her to come in. "That is in fact what I was here to discuss. I believe that the problem extends beyond Rodney though. John is in as bad or worse condition."

They exchanged started looks. Teyla explained what she had seen, including the fact that Ronon had taken to being careful not to allow John too close to him. They asked a great many more questions than Teyla expected, including ones about John's physical appearance (shaking, lack of sleep, not eating, hives, and more). Elizabeth got more and more grim as Teyla explained what she had seen. Eventually she called Carson in.

"Do you think they've fused?" Elizabeth asked once Teyla explained her concerns about Rodney and John.

"Oh yes," Carson nodded, looking sad and a little bit sick. "O' course, Rodney's a Uni so its much harder for him to fuse, but John, certainly. We already know that the poor boy cannae cycle with anyone bu' Rodney. They're quite fused."

"Damn," Elizabeth said, swallowing hard. "All right, this has to be killing both of them then. Sam, you have approval to take the treatment. See if anyone else will be willing. Zelenka and Lorne are doing their best but they're not compatible with everyone."

"Will do," Samantha said, smiling and nodding at Elizabeth. "Thanks. I think it will help."

"Treatment?" Carson asked, confused.

"Your Universal Receiver treatment," Samantha said. "Come on, I'll explain on the way to the infirmary."

Teyla hesitated as Carson and Samantha left. She turned to Elizabeth, frowning. Elizabeth was watching the door as it slid shut, her thoughts obviously far away. She started and smiled at Teyla once she realized that Teyla was looking at her. It wasn't a very convincing smile. Teyla sighed, shaking her head in dismay. Another couple that she had not realized existed, and yet another couple that was not dedicated enough to their relationship to fight for the right to be together.

"You are not troubled by Samantha being with so many others?" Teyla asked, concerned for Elizabeth.

"What?" Elizabeth asked, started. "Oh, no! Teyla, we're not together, not like that. That was just cycling. It has nothing to do with our friendship or any serious relationships we're involved in. Sam is in love with Jack O'Neill and Daniel Jackson. I think she sees this treatment as the only chance she has to get back together with them. I'm worried about her as a friend, not as a lover."

"Oh," Teyla said, surprised. "And this is true of most of the pairings we have seen?"

"Yes," Elizabeth said, her eyes sparkling with humor. "We view Cycling as something separate from real relationships, Teyla. It's biological, not romantic. The ideal is to find someone that you can cycle with and not have to share but that's quite rare among our people. There are lots of practical problems with it."

Teyla stared at her, her mouth dropped open in shock. She truly was never going to understand these people. Never! For sex to be separate from romance and love was inconceivable to her. It must be yet another thing that was not being communicated correctly. She knew that Rodney and John's relationship certainly included sex outside of cycling so perhaps that sort of sex was somehow considered different from the sex that occurred during cycling. She shook her head, trying to clear it. That didn't matter now. There were more important issues to consider.

"What can be done to help Rodney and John?" Teyla said. "I am very worried that Rodney will, ah, work himself to death? And I am quite afraid that John will kill someone given his behavior lately."

"I'll contact the SGC and have them set up a retreat for the two of them," Elizabeth said. "There are special places where Universals can go and rest when they're um, overwrought. I'd say that John needs it just as much as Rodney, and if they've truly fused then they shouldn't be apart. Not that I'm going to be the one to tell them that we suspect fusing. Knowing John he'd just run away and that wouldn't be healthy for either of them."

Teyla couldn't help but laugh quietly at that. It was quite true. She talked with Elizabeth about continuing her people's involvement in the patrols and cooking once the crisis was over. It seemed like Elizabeth's resistance to their involvement might finally have weakened due to their performance in the last three weeks. It was one good thing that had come out of the mess. She did bring up the possibility of Gara's people being evacuated (temporarily) to Atlantis in the case of Wraith attacks but she wasn't sure that Elizabeth understood what she was talking about. It was hard to be blunt enough for the Tau'ri at times. Eventually Teyla left for her prenatal exam with Carson. She passed two cycling couples on her way there and only realized it as she was walking into the infirmary. She wasn't sure if it was a good thing that she appeared to have acclimated to public sexual relations, but there wasn't much that she could do about it unfortunately.

"Teyla!" Jennifer said, beaming at her. "Come on in."

"Jennifer," Teyla said, smiling at her. "Carson said that I was to report for my prenatal exams as normal. Where is he?"

"Ah, well Katie Brown showed up cycling and Carson's a good match for her so he's not going to be available for a few days," Jennifer said, biting her lip and looking very young. "I can do it if you're all right with a woman checking you out. I know your people are a lot more stuffy about same sex touching than ours are."

Teyla suppressed a wince. She truly wondered when she was going to get used to this…casual sexuality the Tau'ri endured. She smiled as gracefully as possible at Jennifer, going and sitting on the examination table.

"I have no problem with it, Jennifer," Teyla said. "It is simply the differences in how our people handle sex and intimacy that confuse me."

"Well, I'm always willing to talk about it if you have any questions," Jennifer said, smiling brightly again as she started the examination.

"Then perhaps you can explain what 'APS' means," Teyla said. "I have heard it used many times towards Rodney and I do not understand what it means."

"Uhhh…." Jennifer said, getting a wild look in her eyes before becoming very involved with checking the baby's heartbeat.


End file.
